Alison Wood Brooks explores the science of conversation in 'Talk'

New book explores research-backed techniques to improve communication.

Illustration by Yifei Fang

By Hayu Andini and Widya Lestari

Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves, by Alison Wood Brooks

Many people assume they are good conversationalists, only to find over time that their interactions feel less engaging. Conversations that once flowed effortlessly may start feeling forced, dull, or unfulfilling. The reason for this, according to behavioral research, is that effective communication is not entirely instinctual—it can be studied, refined, and even optimized.

Alison Wood Brooks, a professor at Harvard Business School, has dedicated years to researching this phenomenon. Her new book, Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves, draws on a wide range of studies to break down the elements that make conversations effective. From analyzing parole hearings and sales calls to speed dating and casual chats, Brooks distills her findings into actionable insights that anyone can use to improve their communication skills.

A research-backed framework for better conversations

Brooks structures her findings into a four-part framework: Topics, Asking, Levity, and Kindness—an acronym forming the word TALK. While the principles may seem intuitive, her research provides compelling data to support their effectiveness.

Topics – Preparing a few engaging topics in advance can prevent awkward silences and keep conversations flowing.
Asking – Thoughtful, well-timed questions encourage deeper engagement.
Levity – Humor can enhance likability and make conversations more enjoyable.
Kindness – A warm and empathetic approach fosters trust and openness.

By following these principles, individuals can navigate social and professional conversations with greater confidence and effectiveness.

Challenging conventional wisdom about communication

One of the more surprising insights from Brooks’ research is that people often avoid certain topics out of fear they will be too intrusive or inappropriate, when in reality, these discussions are usually well-received.

In one study, participants were asked to answer both benign and sensitive questions. Surprisingly, they reported enjoying answering deeper questions—such as “When was the last time you cried in front of another person?”—more than generic ones like “Are you a morning person?” The data suggests that, contrary to common belief, meaningful topics foster stronger connections, while surface-level small talk can feel unsatisfying.

This finding challenges the assumption that politeness should dictate conversational choices. While many people instinctively steer clear of sensitive subjects, Brooks’ research suggests that leaning into deeper discussions can lead to more fulfilling interactions.

The dangers of leading questions

Another common conversational pitfall Brooks highlights is the use of “candidate answers.” This occurs when someone asks an open-ended question but immediately narrows the scope by suggesting possible responses. For example, instead of asking, “Why are you interested in this book?” one might ask, “Do you want to improve your conversation skills, or are you just looking for entertainment?”

While the intention behind candidate answers is often to guide the conversation, they can actually limit the depth of responses. Brooks argues that by allowing questions to remain open-ended, individuals can elicit more meaningful and insightful answers from their conversation partners.

The role of humor in communication

Humor plays a crucial role in conversation, but Brooks’ research suggests that its effectiveness depends on context and delivery. While humor can make a speaker more likable and engaging, forced or scripted jokes can have the opposite effect.

In one study, Brooks examined workplace leadership dynamics and found that managers who incorporated humor into their communication were perceived as more competent and trustworthy. A single well-placed joke increased their chances of being seen as a leader by over 9 percent. However, Brooks cautions that humor should feel natural rather than calculated.

She also notes that humor is not universally beneficial—what works in casual settings may not translate well in professional environments. Effective communicators adapt their approach based on context, ensuring that humor enhances rather than detracts from their message.

The limitations of structured conversation techniques

Despite the wealth of insights in Talk, Brooks acknowledges the irony of attempting to systematize something as spontaneous as conversation. While research-backed techniques can provide guidance, rigidly adhering to them can sometimes feel unnatural.

She contrasts her approach with that of philosopher Immanuel Kant, who famously structured his dinner parties with strict conversational guidelines. Kant’s guests were expected to discuss headlines and the weather during the first course, politics and science during the main course, and lighter, humorous topics during dessert. While this method ensured structured discourse, it lacked the organic flow of natural conversation.

Brooks prefers a more fluid and dynamic approach, likening good conversation to what sociologist Arlie Hochschild calls "the jazz of human exchange"—a free-flowing interplay of ideas and emotions. However, some of her recommendations, such as compiling spreadsheets of conversation topics, may feel overly mechanical. While useful in certain contexts, these structured approaches may not always align with real-world interactions.

Much of Brooks’ research stems from her studies on negotiation, and as a result, some of her findings reflect a corporate perspective. She often frames conversation as a tool for achieving success, whether in leadership, sales, or networking. While these insights are valuable for professionals, they may not fully address the nuances of personal relationships.

For instance, her emphasis on optimizing conversation for career advancement—such as using humor to appear more authoritative—may feel less relevant for those simply looking to have more meaningful interactions with friends and family. While communication skills are undoubtedly important, Brooks’ data-driven approach sometimes overlooks the less tangible aspects of human connection, such as emotional intuition and shared experiences.

Conversational skills

While Talk offers valuable strategies for enhancing communication, it also raises broader questions about the role of conversation in modern society. In a world where many high-profile figures—politicians, CEOs, and influencers—achieve success despite poor communication skills, the book prompts readers to consider whether eloquence is truly essential for leadership and influence.

At the same time, the rise of artificial intelligence and digital communication has transformed how people interact. Brooks’ emphasis on structured conversation techniques may feel particularly relevant in an era where face-to-face interactions are increasingly rare. Her research highlights the importance of maintaining strong communication skills in both personal and professional contexts.

Alison Wood Brooks’ Talk provides a compelling look at the science behind conversation, offering practical techniques grounded in behavioral research. Her insights challenge conventional assumptions about small talk, humor, and politeness, encouraging readers to engage in deeper and more meaningful discussions.

While some of her recommendations may feel overly structured, especially for those who prefer a more spontaneous approach to conversation, the book ultimately serves as a valuable resource for anyone looking to refine their communication skills. Whether readers seek to navigate social situations more effectively, improve workplace interactions, or simply become better listeners, Talk offers a thought-provoking guide to the art of human connection.